I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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