My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
