Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
