she kept yelling 'call me bella'
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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