So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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