I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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