i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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