you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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