I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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