CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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