8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
