i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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