I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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