you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The Olympian is in my bed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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