remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is Oprah even human
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
