so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
