i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
