Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
