i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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