"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
