So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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