so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
