I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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