Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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