butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
