I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
3 2 1 whiskey
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
