guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
