You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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