Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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