I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
