She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
