plz talk dirty to me
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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