u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
