I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
