i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
