Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
