Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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