Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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