Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
