what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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