Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dignity is for republicans.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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