If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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