Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
