I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
