i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
