I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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