Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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