Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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