is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the condom got lost in my hair
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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