Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this will be a night to untag.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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