life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
