So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
