Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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