Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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