??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's never too late to be topless.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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