Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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