you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
