Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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