yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize