i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
