with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize