Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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