you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
