Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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